Well, Chris met Matt B. when Matt bugged him for answers in their Biochemistry class last semester. At the same time Matt D. was wasting away FS96 trying to beat his hero Chris at a wide variety of games. (He never did). They were all brought together by a freak coincidence called Chemistry 210. Soon after, Josh completed the group (or so we thought) and became the fourth horseman when he leaned over in class and said,"Hey... You guys need another group member?" We said,"Yup." Lora and Heather were added accidentally through a freak occurrence in the e-mail world, but nobody really minded them being around. They smelled fine.

We are the Approaching Apocalypse simply because Chris watches too many X-Men cartoons far too late at night. Nobody could stop his e-mail in time.

	Borgmeyer, Matthew  c667797@showme.missouri.edu
	Osborn, Chris  c664017@showme.missouri.edu
	Kelly, Heather  c670341@showme.missouri.edu
	Warren, Lora  c665438@showme.missouri.edu
	Dyer, Matt  c663685@showme.missouri.edu
	Miller, Josh  c676377@showme.missouri.edu

Despite the fact that we are all far too self absorbed and each felt that the others weren't good enough to be our exalted presence, we clenched our teeth and decide to kiss some serious a$$. It was a massive clash of egos every third day.

Running with Olestra

While walking to the Rec. center at 3:30 in the afternoon, one can't help but wonder if there is an easier way to shed those unsightly pounds. While the exercise is "bear"able, those potato chips and Cheetos don't stop calling your name. The solution: Olestra, also known commercially as Olean. In an effort to create an obesity-friendly synthetic fat molecule, Proctor and Gamble developed an indigestible substitute that has the taste and texture of the real thing without zero calories. Sound too good to be true? We thought so. As a result, we decided to follow the "yellow brick road" of modern technology in search for the all knowing. In order to complete our journey, we had to travel through the intricate maze called "net search". It was here where we met our guide Excite. In the first circle of net search we wandered upon a tome of infinite wisdom. which gave us a general background of the product. This circle was essential to the rest of our journey. We received a preview of the circles to come so that the experience would not be so traumatic. It is important to realize that things are not always as they seem...our enemy was hiding in the shadows.

Progression down to the next circle gave us hope for the future. It seemed that our travels would take us to a better place. Here we found the answer to our dilemma, or so we thought.

Circle three reminded us of the power of knowledge. It must not be blinded by the power of money and influence as we were in circle two. We need to progress further in search for the truth.

Descending to the fourth level brought us to what appeared to be our protection from all evil in our society all evil in our society. It seemed the truth was clear, but deciphering between good and evil was still to be determined.

Optimistically, we descended to the fifth level seeking an answer, but unfortunately, all spoken was gibberish and only understood by God. Our hero saw our plight and pulled us from the depths of hell.

Despite the analogy, olestra gives us a glimpse at the future of nutritional chemistry, and the problems and benefits that come from it. Oil spills below the equator are no laughing matter. Finally, some Olestra Poetry.

Our Group got along pretty well when you consider the bizarre events that followed us. Matt and Matt and Josh are all dating each other now which presents some odd situations. Chris and Heather and Lora are just on the outside of one bizarre love triangle laughing. We're all like one big family on the way to some kind of chemistry related Woodstock. This bus is not slowing down.